breathe.

I am breaking my rule of not blogging on a "work night". but I feel as if I needed to have some sort of venue to vent. sorry if this post is disconnected and random; that about fits my day.
without going into specifics, it has been a more-than-average stressful last few days at work. and to top it off, I work my third 12 hour shift in a row tomorrow. the idea of working 3 days in a row might seem ideal when you are making your schedule; because you think then you will have more days off in a row. and when you work night shift, yes you want your nights all together. but in reality, it is so not worth it. you get burnt out. you need a breather. because being a nurse is a stressful job. and being an ER nurse is at the higher end of the stress spectrum. but I'm not complaining. well, I'm not trying to. I do love my job. and I love helping people. and i love the people I work with. but some days when 7:30pm comes around and I walk to my car, I just want to sit there and lay my head on the steering wheel. and just breathe. de-stress.
well today was one of those days. but as I pulled out of the parking lot, my tire was low. way low. and it seems to be a pattern that on my worst days, I have car trouble. So the tears that had been at the surface all day, came out. I mean, the flood gates opened. and Philip is at work. *add more tears. so i call my parents. because all my life my parents can always make things better. long story short, I had to go to 3 different gas stations before I found an air tank that worked and I could fill my tire up.
I came home to two very happy-to-see-me pets. and I got into the bathtub and started rehashing my day. and I realized how absorbed in the world I can let myself get. how easily I can let my whole attitude be changed and affected by circumstances. so easily I let myself get caught up in it all. when what I need to be doing is focusing on what really matters. the only thing that really matters.

"My thoughts are completely different from yours." says the Lord.
"And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than you thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9